New Horizons 9/?

[missthingsplace]

Title: New Horizons
Author: missthingsplace
Parings/characters: Jack (Jack/Ianto Rhys/Gwen) OC's: Dafydd, Angela, Christopher, Charlie
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or any of the characters ... unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: After losing Ianto and Gwen in the same attack Jack accepts a request by the queen in Washington DC
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Angst, slash ... the usual.
Rating: NC17 for series. This chapter PG

Previous Chapters: http://missthingsplace.livejournal.com/211867.html#cutid1

Jack tossed the two painkillers into his mouth and swallowed them with a large gulp of water, he'd forgotten just how nasty hangovers could feel and drinking the night before wasn't the only thing he was regretting.

It didn't even seep slowly into his consciousness, it was there in his head when he woke. He had kissed Dafydd, yes, he had been drunk, way too drunk but that was no excuse. Jack was sure Dafydd wouldn't even mention it let alone make him feel guilty but he was doing a good job of that by himself.

Jack couldn't help but give a small, sad chuckle to himself as he thought how he now knew for certain that Dafydd was straight, his body hadn't reacted in the slightest to the kiss or his pheromones, even if he didn't push him off straight away.

Hell, a good kiss was a good kiss no matter who was giving it Jack told himself, trying to make himself feel better about the whole thing.

Putting the empty water glass in the kitchen sink Jack walked through to the living room and slumped on the sofa wishing he could find the energy to motivate himself and lifted the lid of his laptop, checking his email should distract his mind for a while he decided.

Ten minutes later he was still staring at the title of the unread email as if he thought his addled mind was playing tricks on him. His finger hovered over the mouse pad, unsure whether he should actually read it or delete it.

Deciding that the title made it just that little bit too intriguing to delete he clicked on the email from Ianto's sister Rhiannon that was entitled “Please read Jack, please.”

Jack closed his eyes and took a deep breath as he anticipated what was to come and then while massaging his temple with the fingers and thumb of one hand he began to read.

Jack,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry it's taken me so long to write this, I should have come and seen you before you left for the states, I can understand completely why you left but I wish you had just hung around for a little longer.

I'm sorry for the way my family, Ianto's family have treated you. I wanted so badly at the funeral to take your hand and comfort you but my family would have made such a fuss and I didn't want Ianto's send off to be spoilt by their bad manners.

When they refused to go to your CP five years ago (Yes, I know it's nearly your anniversary) I was so angry, they still have no idea that we attended, Johnny and I and you have no idea how much I glossed over the reason they didn't attend, I know Ianto was hurt badly by their refusal to accept you as his partner.

I don't blame you or Torchwood for his death, he died in the line of duty, for his country as he once told me. Yes, I know all about Torchwood and what you do. Ianto told me, he knew he could trust me not to tell another living soul, not even Johnny knows what he divulged to me that day.

It was his choice to work for Torchwood, no one forced him to stay, I know my brother, he was much to stubborn for that and I know enough about you to know that losing him that way was the worst thing that could have happened, that losing him through old age wouldn't have even seemed so bad as you would have got to spend so much more of your long life with him.

Yes Jack, I know all about you too, my brother was besotted from the first day he met you. He told me everything, even about Lisa eventually. I hope you're not too shocked? Hell, you can't be as shocked as I was when he told me just exactly how old you were, my parents didn't know just how true it was when they said they thought you were too old for him, did they?

It's a shame you never gave me a niece or nephew, something that would have been a part of Ianto for both of us to love. I think that learning of the fact that you were able to conceive and have a child was even more of a shock than your seemingly eternal life.

I hope you read this, I miss you, I really do and I think if you were still here it might feel like a small piece of Ianto was here too. If you don't reply I'll understand, either you were too scared to open this or you're not ready to respond.

But I hope to receive a reply, even if it's just to let me know you're doing okay. Somehow I doubt that because I know I'm not, I was his sister but you were his friend, lover, husband and I know if I lost Johnny I would be devastated.

I hope Torchwood Five is helping? Yes, I have my ways and means that if you knew Ianto had told me about you'd have been furious, but it's helped me track you down and for that I am very grateful.

If you want, need to come back to Wales, we will make you welcome.

Lots of Love,
Rhiannon.

By the time Jack had finished reading tears were pouring so hard he had to keep brushing them away with the back of his hand so he could see the screen properly. Even though Rhiannon had attended the wedding and had always seemed supportive of them when she ignored him at the funeral he was sure she felt the same way as the rest of the Jones family.

He already knew by the time he had even read half the email that he was going to respond but he wasn't ready to do so just yet. He needed time to think about what he was going to say, to say it had been a revelation that Ianto had told her everything about him was an understatement.

Jack clicked on the reply button and sent her a simple message, hoping that she would realise it would be followed by a proper email at some point.

Rhiannon,

Thank you.

Love,
Jack.

Clicking the send button before he had the chance to change his mind he settled back on the sofa and realised his headache had subsided almost completely, after rereading the email once more Jack closed the laptop and got to his feet.

Jack showered, shaved and dressed. He couldn't put going to work off any longer, he wasn't going to avoid Dafydd or pretend what he had done the night before hadn't happened he was going to face him and apologise and promise him it would never happen again.

He also told himself as he left his apartment that he would never be drinking large amounts of alcohol again, that alone would help him keep his promise. As soon as he arrived at the base he found Dafydd in the medical bay and asked him to come to his office, ignoring the looks of the others as he led the way.

“I'm sorry, about last night.” Jack told him as soon as he shut the door to his office.

“Forget about it, I have.” Dafydd replied shrugging, not looking at all worried at being alone with Jack.

“It should never have happened, I was drunk, pissed really but that's no excuse for what I did.”

“Jack, I promise you I won't hold it against you. It's fine.”

“Ianto used to say that, all the time.” Jack told him sadly.

“Say what?”

“It's fine, even though half the time he meant the complete opposite.”

“Not me, when I say 'It's fine' I mean it.”

“And I believe you, I do, it's just ...”

“I remind you of him.”

“If it's any consolation, it was one hell of a kiss, even if it didn't do anything for me.” Dafydd chuckled softly.

Jack looked at him as if he couldn't believe that he had just said and then burst out laughing, that small statement defusing the atmosphere Jack was creating completely.

“Don't ever let me drink again!” Jack told him, sitting down behind his desk.

“Water only.” Dafydd replied. “Jack, anytime you want to talk, I'll listen.”

Jack nodded. “I got an email this morning, from Ianto's sister.” He confided.

“Did she upset you, are you okay?”

“Yeah, I discovered that she didn't feel the same way about Ianto and I as the rest of her family, I was so upset at the funeral when she gave me the cold shoulder like the rest of the family but she was warned to stay away from me.”

“She should have told them what she thought of them, supported you.” Dafydd replied, angry for Jack.

“No, I'm just glad to know she only did it because of them, Ianto was so close to his sister, closer than I ever knew and I liked her a lot. At least I still have one connection with Ianto, through her.”

“Did you reply?”

“Not properly, I just sent a short message saying thank you, I'll email her properly when I feel like I can do it without falling apart, again.”

“It's barely a month since his funeral Jack, falling apart is normal.”

“I guess.”

“If I can get through next week without doing anything stupid I know I'm on my way to ... coping.”

“Next week?”

“Next Wednesday would have been the fifth anniversary of our wedding.” Jack replied, sadness filling him again.

“Will be, not would be.” Dafydd told him resolutely. “Use it to celebrate his life, not mourn his death.”

“I'm not sure I can ...”

“Yes, you can Jack, you need to do this.”

“How?”

“Whatever seems right to you, only you can decide that.”

“I'll think about it.”

“That's a start.” Dafydd told, walking towards the office door. “Tea?”

“Thanks.” Jack replied, almost replying that he'd prefer coffee but he just couldn't bring himself to say so just yet.

As Jack watched the others going about their various tasks in the hub he couldn't help going over Rhiannon's email in his head, he could remember it almost word for word even though he had only read it through twice.

Turning his computer on Jack logged into his email again and read it a third and then a fourth time devouring every word, barely acknowledging Dafydd when he put the mug of tea on his desk. If he wondered why Jack had his hand pressed to his belly he never questioned it.

Jack was focused on the paragraph where Rhiannon had mentioned that it was a shame he had never given her a niece or nephew, he and Ianto had been discussing the idea of children in the two or three weeks before he had been killed, they had both been excited by the idea but had no idea how to reverse the inhibitor he had in his body to prevent accidental pregnancy when he was still in the 51st century and now it was too late.

Jack closed the email and brushed away the tears that had fallen unnoticed down his cheeks with his fingers before getting to his feet, after draining his luke warm cup of tea he headed out his office and into the main base.

It was time he decided, time to tell the people he worked with just who Jack Harkness was.

TBC

A/N As you may remember this was meant to be a oneshot that evolved (such a surpise) and until the bunnies tell me where each chapter is going i have not much idea what happens next, sometimes faster than others. If anyone has any suggestions as to where this could be leading for the conclusion (and who knows when it'll reach it), i'd love to hear them as i'm fighting the bunnies off with something they keep suggesting at the moment as i refuse to let them lead it there!