New Horizons 11/?

[missthingsplace]

Title: New Horizons
Author: missthingsplace
Parings/characters: Jack (Jack/Ianto Rhys/Gwen) OC's: Dafydd, Angela, Christopher, Charlie
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or any of the characters ... unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: After losing Ianto and Gwen in the same attack Jack accepts a request by the queen in Washington DC
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Angst, slash ... the usual.
Rating: NC17 for series. This chapter PG

Previous Chapters: http://missthingsplace.livejournal.com/211867.html#cutid1

A/N A huge thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes, I'm having a great day, my mum even bought me an extra birthday pressie while we were out this afternoon :)

Jack moved to the huge picture window and drew the heavy drapes against the bright setting sun for the first time shadowing the room in semi darkness before moving across the room and lighting the two scented candles on the coffee table.

Next he went to the kitchen, taking the bottle of champagne from the fridge and setting it on the worktop before picking up the ice bucket and half filling it with ice before adding the bottle to the mix.

Taking two champagne glasses from the kitchen cabinet Jack went back to the living room and placed them on the table with the candles before heading into his bedroom.

Kneeling on the floor Jack reached under the bed and pulled out the suitcase he had stowed beneath it, lifting it onto the bed he slowly stroked a hand over it before opening the lid.

Reaching inside Jack first pulled out the framed photograph, a larger version of the picture he kept in his wallet of his and Ianto on the day of their wedding, this was followed by a red silk tie and finally Ianto's journal.

Leaving the case on top of the bed Jack got to his feet and carried the items through to the living room, placing the framed photograph so it could be seen clearly in the candlelight and the journal next to it.

Jack ran the tie though his fingers, he hadn't brought any other personal items of Ianto's with him. The tie and the journal were two of the things that most defined his lover, he needed nothing else, except for the man himself.

Hanging the tie loosely around his neck Jack took the champagne bottle from the ice bucket and opened it, pouring the sparkling liquid in the both glasses before setting it back.

Placing one glass next to the Ianto in the photograph Jack took the other in his hand and held it aloft, gathering every single ounce of self control he spoke into the air.

“Happy Anniversary cariad.” Jack's voice was barely above a whisper. “I miss you more and more each day.”

Jack gulped down the champagne in one swallow and put the glass back on the table before slumping onto the sofa as his emotions got the better of him and tears began to pour down his face.

Hugging a cushion to his chest Jack just let them fall, indulging himself in his moment of sadness wondering if he would ever be happy again.

It was some time later when Jack took notice of the journal again, Ianto had bought it before their wedding and had written his first entry the day they returned from their short but perfect honeymoon.

Until now Jack hadn't been able to bring himself to read it, he wasn't even sure if he should have bought it with him from Cardiff but it seemed to be calling out to him.

Jack kicked off his shoes and reached for it, leaning back against the cushions and putting his feet up Jack got comfortable and opened the journal to the first page and began to read.

I don't think I've ever been so happy in my life, it may have only been a weekend long honeymoon but they were such wonderful, perfect days I wish we could have stayed there forever, in bed, ignoring the whole world.

We've made so many plans, we even talked about having children. Is it so wrong that when I imagine Jack with a big belly, carrying our child I feel so ... turned on? Won't be for a while though, we're going to wait till the time feels right and also Jack has to find a way to reverse the inhibitor that stops him falling pregnant.

I'm so happy I think I'm smiling in my sleep.

Jack smiled at the memory, they had barely left the bedroom for the whole two days and nights. They had made love too many times to remember but they had also just slept holding each other tight and talked, making plans for the future.

Trying not to think about the future they had been denied Jack flipped through a few pages and read a little more.

Jack can he so romantic when he wants to be, this morning he bought me breakfast in bed, so what if the toast was a little burnt and the coffee was bitter it was the thought that counts. One week today, our one week wedding anniversary.

Jack could remember it clearly, Ianto had taken one tiny bite of the toast and screwed up his face at the taste before gulping down a mouth of coffee to get rid of the burnt taste and almost chocked in disgust.

They had ended up making love for hours, not caring that they would be late for work knowing the others would forgive them.

Skipping a few more pages Jack began to read another entry, the writing a little more harsh and less like the normal flowing style Ianto had.

Jack died today, for the first time since our wedding. I know he's going to come back, he always does but there's always this little voice at the back of my mind trying the tell me that maybe this time he will stay dead.

Of course he didn't, he gasped back to life in my arms looking scared and shocked just like always and held me tight as if he was scared he had lost me and not the other way around.

I hate it when Jack dies.

Jack brushed away the tear that slid down his cheek before it could land on the page and mark it, putting it down on the sofa Jack got to his feet and headed into the bathroom, relieving himself before splashing water on his face.

Looking at himself in the bathroom mirror Jack fleetingly wondered how much longer he would look like it was in his early forties, it seemed so unfair that he had all this youth and life and Ianto's had been stolen away from his so early.

Drying his hands and face on the towel Jack headed for the kitchen and poured himself a large glass of water, he never really was a fan of champagne and rummaged around in the kitchen door for some painkillers to nip his blossoming headache in the bud.

Jack took a couple and then moved back to the living room with the rest of the water, placing it on the coffee table before settling back on the sofa and picking up the journal again.

Flicking through Jack found what he was looking for, Ianto's entry about their one year wedding anniversary and smiled to himself as he read it.

Jack's not the only one who can be romantic, he never guessed what I had planned for this evening when he got home from work. We had celebrated in our usual way when we woke and exchanged cards and small gifts but for the evening I wanted to show him just how happy I was.

Luckily Jack was stuck on a call to the prime minister so I was able to make my escape from the hub and get home before him.

His face when he arrived home an hour or so later was worth every minute of it, I cooked him his favourite meal which we ate at the dining table with only a candle to illuminate the room.

As good as the food was we barely touched it, most of the time we were just talking, touching, leaning over to steal kisses until our need got to great and we abandoned the food and almost ran to the bedroom.

Our anniversary was almost as fantastic as our honeymoon, the only thing wrong was the length of time we had, one night was nowhere near long enough for us to both show each other just how much we cared.

Jack closed the journal, the memories although wonderful were all becoming to much for him. Telling himself he would read more the next day Jack blew out the candle and carried the almost full bottle of champagne back to the kitchen, leaving the half full glass behind and tipped the contents down the sink knowing he would never drink the rest.

Leaving the journal on the coffee table Jack picked up the photograph and headed to his bedroom, placing it on his bedside table and then stowing the suitcase back under the bed before stripping his clothes off and climbing into bed naked.

Lying on his side Jack faced the picture, in his head he could hear Ianto's laughter. He wondered how long it would be before it would start to fade, that he wouldn't be able to remember his laugh, his voice, those beautiful Welsh vowels.

Jack told himself to stop thinking like that, that it wasn't going to happen but he knew in his heart it would eventually, he had lost so many people and he knew what to expect.

Focusing on happier thoughts Jack thought back to their wedding day, how they had wanted to run from the reception and be alone but Ianto insisted they had to stay, it would have been rude to leave their own wedding so early.

As a compromise they had snuck up to the honeymoon suite for an hour and had had frantic, desperate sex before searching the room for their discarded, thrown clothes and dressed while they laughed happily before heading back down to the party.

Closing his eyes and rolling onto his back Jack let his hand brush down over his chest, his fingernail catching a nipple as it made his way down the smoothness of his body. When his hand reached his crotch Jack hesitated, he didn't need to look or touch to know he had an erection but it seemed wrong somehow to need a release when he was feeling so sad.

Grabbing the pillow next to him Jack hugged it tight, ignoring his hard on, turning onto his front and burying his face in his pillow and the tears began to fall again.

A small thought crossed his mind before he let himself give into sleep, he had lost so many friends and lovers before but he never remembered being quite so emotional.

Putting it down to never loving anyone as much as he had loved Ianto, Jack fell into a dreamless sleep, exhausted.

TBC