The Diary That (Mostly) Never Was 4/?

[missthingsplace]

Title: The Diary That Mostly Never Was
Author: missthingsplace
Parings/characters: Jack/Ianto.
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or any of the characters ... unfortunately.
Summary: Ianto's diary entries in the year that never was
Spoilers: End of days
Warnings: I forsee lots of angst
Rating: pg for now, maybe pg13 for some chapters

Previous chapters here: Fic Master List: http://missthingsplace.livejournal.com/14374.html#cutid1

Saturday 30th September

I'm contemplating trying to sleep in Jack's room below his office tonight, I've been trying to avoid going down there, too many reminders of Jack and the times we have spent in there doing more than sleeping but even Jack's small bed is more comfortable than the sofa, maybe being surrounded by his things will comfort me. I'm kind of scared they might make me feel worse, but I also wonder if that's possible?

I'm eating without Tosh forcing me now, not a lot but I'm eating. Owen seems to actually be concerned for my well being, even he couldn't miss how tired I am. He insisted on giving me a check over, I saw him wince when he saw the way my ribs are protruding through my chest but he never said a word. I have a feeling Tosh might have said something to him, I know that she's worried about me.

He's given me some sedatives and is insisting that I take some of them tonight, he told me that if I didn't sleep soon he would forcefully sedate me. I'd like to see him try, I'm sure he doesn't really want to wake up unconscious. Actually at the moment he could probably overpower me easily, that is not something I want to dwell on actually.

Maybe I'll go and sit in Jack's office for a while in his chair, I can put the CCTV on and watch the Plass from there, I'm wondering if I'm going to make myself mad sometimes by watching and waiting for signs of his return. Then maybe I'll take one of those damn pills and try and get some sleep.

TBC