The Diary That (Mostly) Never Was 6/?

[missthingsplace]

Title: The Diary That Mostly Never Was
Author: missthingsplace
Parings/characters: Jack/Ianto.
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or any of the characters ... unfortunately.
Summary: Ianto's diary entries in the year that never was
Spoilers: End of days
Warnings: I forsee lots of angst
Rating: pg for now, maybe pg13 for some chapters

Previous chapters here: Fic Master List: http://missthingsplace.livejournal.com/14374.html#cutid1

Sunday 7th October

I did it, I spent the night in Jack's bed last night. I got half way down the ladder and nearly chickened out, nearly climbed back out again but I forced myself down to the bottom. It looked like he had never left, his bed was still mussed up, from the last time we had shared it just before he died , I couldn't bring myself to go down there and make his bed and then he disappeared before I even thought about it again.

I stood staring at it for a while, remembering our last night together, what we had done between those sheets to mess it up so much. The room smelt of Jack, the smell of sex long since dispersed but Jack's scent still lingered, those pheromones seemed to permitate every inch of the room and they seemed into my brain and that was the moment I fell apart. Once the tears stared to fall there was no stopping them, I don't know how long I cried for but it seemed like hours.

I remember crawling into Jack's bed and hugging his pillow to my chest, breathing in his scent as my tears soaked it. It's a good thing there was no one else in the hub because I know I was bawling out loud like a baby, I probably scared Myfanwy, she did seem a little wary of me when I fed her this morning. I woke up hours later, after a dreamless sleep, the longest sleep I've had since Jack left. I'm not sure how I feel now the damn has burst, I'm going to sleep in Jack's bed again tonight.

TBC