Stay Another Day

[missthingsplace]

Title: Stay Another Day
Author: missthingsplace
Parings/characters: Jack/Ianto.
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or any of the characters ... unfortunately.
Summary: Ianto's in an odd mood
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Angst, may need tissues
Rating: PG13
Lyrics: East 17

Baby if you've got to go away
I don't think
I can take the pain
Won't you stay another day
Oh, don't leave me alone like this
Don't say it's the final kiss
Won't you stay another day

Jack slumped down in his office chair, it was the early hours of the morning and after a long hard day he was actually feeling tired but sleep was evading him. Something wouldn't go out of his head, it was swirling around in him mind causing his insomnia.

Ianto. From the moment he had come into work the morning before there was something off with him, Jack had tried everything to get him to talk but Ianto was keeping tight lipped, in every sense of the word. When Jack had tried to kiss him he had met resistance and tightly closed lips, then the rift monitor let rip and the rest of the day just went down hill from there.

None of them had come out of it unscathed, they all had injuries from the mild to the pretty bad and hell, Jack had even died taking a bullet for Toshiko. But most importantly, he thought, they were all still alive. As Jack thought more about the day his frown deepened, when he had come back gasping for breath it was Tosh and Gwen who were holding him.

He'd expected it to be Ianto, holding him tight, talking to him as he inhaled that life giving breath. But Ianto was nowhere to be seen, he'd glanced about as Tosh and Gwen talked to him. Where was Ianto? He'd asked, both of them seemed reluctant to tell him. Owen on the other hand didn't have the same problem, told him that Ianto had left the moment Jack died.

The moment Jack had got back to the hub he had tried to call him, but Ianto's mobile had gone straight to answer phone. He tried his home phone but it did the same, in the end Jack threw his mobile on his desk and went down to his room under his office. The one effect dying was it made him tired, he needed to sleep.

And so here he was, an insomniac with Ianto on his mind. After brooding for some time he turned on his computer and checked his email. There, bold as brass was an email from Ianto. The time and date confirmed it had been sent only, Jack glanced at his watch, twenty minutes before. The subject title was just 'Jack'.

Jack clicked on the email, his eyes widening as he read it. Whatever he thought it was going to say it certainly wasn't this, how on earth did he miss the signs? Even the morning before, when Ianto was, well being off with him he never really thought about it. Told himself he must have done something to piss him off, that he would apologise later, in his own way.

Jack read the email again.

Jack,

I can't do this any more, all of this. I love you, I've never said that before I know. I sometimes think you love me, but would you ever say it? I've been thinking about this for some time but today was the final straw. You died again, yes, you were the hero, you saved a life. Tosh's life. But I can't bear to keep watching you die, every time you do it kills me too. Inside.

And because I love you, that's why I have to leave. By the time you get this it will probably be too late, don't try and find me, I've moved. When I wake up in the morning I won't remember anything, you. Forgetting you will probably be the hardest thing I have to fight against to make me take that pill, that little white pill.

Maybe I should have let you kiss me properly today, given you one last kiss to remember me by. Will you remember me, or will you forget me the moment someone more beautiful comes along. You're the only person ever to call me that, every time you said it my heart would soar.

Love,
Ianto.

Jack became aware that he had tears streaming down his face, how could he lose him now? He hadn't been back long and Ianto had seemed so happy to have him back, they had even been on a few proper dates. When had Ianto began to feel like this? He had no idea, as ever he was too involved in his own life to notice.

Jack grabbed his coat and went to leave his office, damn he thought, how the hell do I find him. He sat back down in his chair, think, he told himself. It was some minutes later when it hit him, Ianto's car. Hope flooded through him, maybe, just maybe Ianto hadn't deactivated the tracking device.

Jack logged back into his computer, finding the correct programme and put in Ianto's registration number. There was the little flashing light on the map, parked it seemed outside an address the other side of Cardiff. Jack wrote down the postcode for the satnav, grabbed his coat and the SUV keys and ran from the hub.

Don't you know
We've come too far now
Just to go
And try to throw it all away
Thought I heard you say
You love me
That your love was gonna be here to stay
I've only just begun
To know you
All I can say is
Won't you stay just one more day

The SUV screeched to a halt outside a block of flats, Jack glanced up at the high rise. Nothing like the classy building Ianto had been living it, in fact it looked rather run down. How the hell was he supposed to know which one Ianto was in?

Jack strode purposefully towards the building, standing at the bottom of the ugly grey, concrete steps he looked upwards, where the hell did he start, time was running out. A door opened next to him and an elderly lady shuffled out, lighting a cigarette and leaning against the wall.

Jack struck up a conversation with her, wondering why she was outside in the early hours of the morning. She'd told him her husband was sick, needed constant care and she wouldn't subject him to her cigarette smoke, her only vice.

Once Jack had gained her trust he asked if anyone new had moved in recent, yes she had told him. Nice looking young fellow, quiet type she hoped as he had moved into the flat above hers. Jack could have kissed her, but he knew he shouldn't. After thanking her he bounded up the steps to the first floor, skidding to a halt outside the front door of the flat.

He knock on the door, no answer. He knocked harder, until various neighbours shouted at him to keep the bloody noise down. Then he picked the lock, it opened easily. He checked no one was watching him and pushed the door open, closing it quietly behind him.

Jack nearly tipped over something in the dark, he fumbled about till he found the light switch. A bare lightbulb shone bright in his eyes, as they adjusted to the light he saw there were boxes in the hall. All of them labled, 'Jeans and jumpers.', Kitchen stuff.', 'Bathroom.' and the like.

Jack found more in the first room he tried, turned out to be the living room. More boxes, more labels. It struck Jack that of all the boxes none of them were labeled 'Suits, ties and shirts.' Maybe they were somewhere else. The next door he opened made him stop dead, the only thing in the room was a mattress on the floor with a duvet covering it and a person below.

Jack walked closer, the light from the hallway shining in, confirming it was Ianto in the makeshift bed. On the floor next to the 'bed' was half a glass of water, Ianto's wallet and a photo of what Jack assumed was Ianto's parents.

Jack knew he was too late, that Ianto had taken the Retcon. If he hadn't he would have woken when Jack had entered the flat, turned the light on. Jack lent against the wall next to the head of the bed, a few moments later sinking to the floor as tear started to stream down his face again.

I touch your face while you are sleeping
And hold your hand
Don't understand what's going on
Good times we had return
To haunt me
Though it's for you
All that I do seem to be wrong

Jack watched him for a few minutes before placing his hand on Ianto's head, stroking through his soft hair and then down his cheek. Ianto murmured lightly in his sleep, but Jack knew he was too deep to actually wake.

Why didn't you talk to me, tell me he asked Ianto. We had fun didn't we? I thought we did, I looked forward to our times when were were alone, just the two of us he whispered softly. Not just the sex, but the other times, the dates.

I know you don't like it when I die, but I never knew you felt so strongly about it. Maybe I gave my life too carelessly, but I did it with good intentions. If you had told me how you felt then perhaps I would have come up with other ways to, oh I don't know.

I'll never forget you Ianto Jones, and I do love you even though I never said it. I'm sure quite sure how I'm going to cope without you, what on earth to I tell the others? Will your memory come back if you see me? You're too clever for your own good and that could foil your plan, if Gwen can fight the effect I'm damn sure you can.

Remember me Ianto, when you see me. Remember the coat, you love my coat. I love you Ianto Jones and I'm not giving in that easily.

Jack moved so he could press his lips to Ianto, kissing him tenderly. Surprised to find Ianto respond, kissing him back in his sleep. Jack couldn't help himself, he deepened it. Kissing him hard and passionately till he pulled away panting. Ianto smiled in his sleep, then said one word.

'Lisa.'

Jack couldn't control the sobs as they came, his whole body shuddering with them. He got up from the floor and ran out the flat, down to the SUV, how long he was sat there crying he didn't know, but the sun was rising in the distance.

Jack looked up at the flats, no he told himself, this wasn't the end of this. Ianto Jones was going to remember, whether he wanted to or not. Jack started the SUV and headed back to the hub, he had plans to make.

Baby if you've got to go away
I don't think
I can take the pain
Won't you stay another day
Oh, don't leave me alone like this
Don't say it's the final kiss
Won't you stay another day