Christmas 16/? - Jack's Christmas Carol

[missthingsplace]

Title: Christmas 16/? - Jack's Christmas Carol
Author: missthingsplace
Parings/characters For Series: Jack/Ianto, Gwen, Owen, Toshiko
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or any of the characters ... unfortunately.
Summary: Jack has a ghost problem after a fight with Ianto ...
Spoilers: None
Warnings For Series: Fluff, Smut, Madness, angst ...
Rating: PG13

A/N A series of Christmas and New Year fics, all inspired by the wonderful prompts i have been given. This was meant to be 12 fics long but it appears to have evolved into something longer and now the intention is to post one a day for the whole of December ... what have i talked myself into! The Prompt list is here: http://missthingsplace.livejournal.com/121341.html#cutid1 And this fic was inspired by a prompts from kizzykat

Previous chapters: http://missthingsplace.livejournal.com/124506.html#cutid1

A/N Okay this one is much longer than any of the previous ones, i hope that it makes up for the lack on one yesterday ...

Ianto was getting more and more annoyed with Jack, it was Christmas Eve and Jack was not in a good mood. He had refused the mince pies than Ianto had brought in with him, saying he'd never really liked them and even snubbed the mistletoe that Gwen had hung over the coffee machine for a laugh.

Okay, it was hard for all of them, it wasn't that long since they had lost both Tosh and Owen but they were trying to get on with their lives while quietly mourning their passing. Jack was blaming Christmas, said he hated this time of year and it was all far to commercialised now and had no meaning.

The last cup of coffee Ianto had made for him had almost been snatched from his hand and without any word of thanks he'd stomped up to his office and closed the door behind him, as if daring anyone to go up there and confront him. Ianto waited an hour before deciding enough was enough, then went to have it out with him and Gwen grabbed her coat and bag and left not wanting to be caught in the fallout.

“Okay.” Ianto began as he marched through the door without knocking, then faced Jack, resting his hands on his desk. “What the hell is your problem Jack? It's Christmas, you weren't as bad as this last year, Gwen and I are missing them too, but do you see us acting like arseholes?”

“You wouldn't understand.” Jack's voice was bland and emotionless.

“Maybe if you told me instead of pissing us off I might.” He told him getting more angry by the minute.

“Why would you want me to ruin your Christmas too? I gave you tonight and tomorrow off, go home to your family Ianto and have some festive cheer.”

Ianto glared at him as he pondered on whether he should keep trying to get Jack to talk, but from the look on Jack's face he knew it was pointless. Well, if he wanted to wallow in self pity then so be it, forcing himself not to let rip completely he stood up straight.

“Fine, I'm going.”

Ianto turned without saying another word and headed for the door.

“What, not even a goodbye kiss?” Jack yelled at his back sarcastically.

Ianto slammed the door in response, closing his eyes and awaiting the smashing of glass that thankfully didn't follow. He ran down the steps, grabbed his coat and left. Maybe Jack would come to his senses by the time he returned he thought as he got in his car and headed towards his mother's house.

Jack sat brooding to himself, he knew he was out of order. Ianto was just trying to help and he had been plain nasty, he couldn't help how he felt at this time of year. It reminded him of all the people he had loved and lost, friends and lovers and with the New Year approaching it was what began to remind him of New Years Eve 1999 when events led him to becoming the leader of Torchwood Three.

The rift predictor wasn't showing that anything was likely to happen over the next few days, so sending Ianto and Gwen to be with their families shouldn't cause any problems, Jack wandered around the hub feeding Myfanwy and Janet before turning out any lights that weren't needed.

For the first time he noted how bare the place looked, having banned Ianto and Gwen from putting up anything that resembled a Christmas decoration, he sighed softly to himself and headed back to his office.

Maybe if he played his cards right he's be able to sleep right through Christmas day he thought as he descended down into the the small room below his office, stripped down to his briefs and climbed into his small bed feeling suddenly very lonely.

Something woke him not long after, he had no idea what and his hand slipped automatically under his pillow grabbing his gun even before he had opened his eyes. Looking into the gloom he could see a grey, shadowy shape near to foot of his bed, it seemed to gradually seemed to solidify as it moved closer to him.

Jack raised the gun, sure it was some kind of alien presence than had somehow infiltrated the hub without setting off the proximity alarms. When it finally became obvious what he was a baffled looked crossed Jack's face.

“Alex?” His voice was barely above a whisper.

“Alone on Christmas Eve Jack, that's not the man I remember.”

“You're dead.”

“Very astute of you.”

“So, am I dreaming?”

“No, I'm here to give you a message.”

“What kind of message?” Jack was a part worried and part intrigued.

“About your life Jack, you need to change your ways about some things, including this time of year or you will lose those you love and your life will never be the same again.”

“I already lose people I love, too many to mention including you Alex, what difference would changing my views on Christmas do?”

“You'll lose your humanity, you'll just exist, you won't love or live life to the full. You'll become very lonely bitter man and it will last an eternity.”

“No, that'll never happen.”

“It can and at the moment it is your destiny, you will be visited by three more ghost this night, the ghosts of Christmas past,  presents and future and if they can't change your ways, then all hope is lost for you.”

“Yeah, right. I think this is all in my head, I'm going to close my eyes and when I open them again you'll be gone and in a few hours it will be morning and I'll have forgotten all about you!”

“It's not a dream Jack.”

Jack didn't respond, ignoring him completely and closed his eyes tightly. When he opened them a couple of minutes later he found he was alone, convinced that it was all in his head he closed them again and slowly drifted into sleep.

He knew exactly what woke him the second time, a blinding flash of bright light. Jack tried to shield his eyes with his hands to see what it was but the light was far too bright.

“What the hell ...” He shouted angrily.

“Yeah, you could say that.” A familiar voice snarked.

“Owen?”

“Got it in one.”

“Any chance we can lose the light?”

The light got gradually dimmer till he was just a shimmer that seemed to highlight Owen's body, he looked just like he had before he'd died, the first time. Jack could feel tears of sadness trying to well up inside of him but he managed to fight them down, wondering if Owen was also a dream, a ghost or maybe he was corporeal and if he could hug him.

“You're a ghost?” Jack asked eventually.

“Your ghost of Christmas past, I'm here to show you ... well some of your past.”

“This all seems so unreal, I suspect it was that Chinese takeaway we had this evening, probably a little dodgy and I'll wake up in the morning with memories of a bad dream and food poisoning.”

“It's not the result of food poisoning Jack, this is really happening and you're coming with me.”

“Where?”

“The past, I thought I made that clear with the whole 'The ghost of Christmas past' thing.”

“How?”

“Just take my hand Jack.”

“I never knew you cared.” Jack joked, reaching out for Owen's hand not expecting anything to happen.

A flash of blinding light later and Jack found himself standing on a sandy beach watching two children playing, running around barefoot. It took a moment or two for him to realise exactly what he was seeing.

“That's me  ... and Gray.”

“Yes, you and your brother playing happily.”

“We got on great, we really did till ....”

Jack closed his eyes and all he could see was the day when 'they' came and took his brother and killed his father, he shuddered visibly and a tear rolled down his face at the memories. Opening his eyes he found they had moved, he was watching his mum mourning over his dad's dead body and yelling at him about his missing brother.

“Take me away from here Owen, how can these bad memories do anything to help me?”

“As you wish.” Owen replied giving a smirk.

Another flash of bright light and Jack found himself outside a cottage he recognised, Owen was peering in the window. Moving to his side Jack looked in and saw himself in full RAF uniform, dancing slowly around the room with a graceful young woman.

He felt a lump in his throat. “Estelle.”

“You loved her, didn't you?” Owen asked.

“Yeah, I loved her so much I had to leave her, to give her a normal life.”

“Didn't you think how much you'd break her heart?”

“Better sooner than later.”

“Not always Jack, sometimes being with someone for as long as possible can be no harder than if you lose them after only a few weeks.”

Jack's mind strayed to thoughts of Ianto, he knew if he lost him tomorrow he would feel like someone had ripped his heart right out of his chest. He hadn't allowed himself to fall in love since Estelle, vowing never to hurt himself or anyone else like that again but the young man was hard to resist and it seemed like destiny that they would fall for each other.

Jack nodded slowly. “Maybe.” He replied simply as Owen took his hand again and they seemed to float through the walls of the cottage and into the room.

“They can't see us.” Owen reassured him.

It was almost Christmas, there was a tiny tree standing on the sideboard with barely any decorations and three presents sat wrapped in newspaper below. This was the last Christmas they had spent together before he left her in the spring.

Two of the three presents were for him, a loving knitted scarf in one and a woollen hat in the other. Estelle had never known that he had worn them for years into the future until they wore out, he wish she had known just how much he had missed her.

He watched as his younger self placed a chaste kiss to her lips before they sat down on the small sofa and made small talk, it was a very innocent age and in the time he had been with Estelle their relationship had never progressed beyond a little snogging and the odd grope on his side that she had batted away when he tried to go too far.

It was the first time, in his life he had gone without sex for months, well with another person anyway. He'd still flirt with anyone, but he was faithful to Estelle the whole time they were together. He remembered that as soon as he broke it off he had gone to a bar in grief, drank far too much brandy and went home with a British soldier and spent the whole night taking advantage the the young man's willing body.

The next day he had wallowed in his grief that was fuelled by a huge hangover and vowed never to get that drunk again. But that didn't stop him flirting with anything that moved and sleeping with most of them either, love was for losers he had told himself.

“Take me home Owen, I don't want to see anymore of my past.”

“Truth hurts Jack.”

“Dammit Owen, please.”

Seconds later he found himself back in the small room beneath his office, Owen was beginning to fade away.

“Don't forget, you have two more ghosts to visit you this night.” Owen's voice lingered as he faded away completely.

“Not if I don't want them too.” Jack muttered to himself as he climbed back under the covers of his small bed and pulled them over his head.

It was a loud noise like the crack of electricity that woke him the third time, sighing he moved the covers down from over his head and found Toshiko smiling sweetly at him. She looked so petite and pretty in the cornflower blue dress she was wearing over her jeans.

“Hi Toshiko.” Jack said resignedly as he got back out the bed.

“Hi Jack.”

“I suppose you've come to show me more upsetting things too?”

“Depends on how you see what I show you.” She replied cryptically.

“Lets get on with it then.” He reached out and took her hand in his, the loud crack vibrating through his ears and head as he did so.

When he had finished trying to shake the noise from his head he looked up to see they were in Gwen and Rhys' flat, they were both sat around a table with both sets of their parents. The huge turkey dominated the middle of the table and it was adorned with candles and crackers.

Jack knew that their respective parents didn't get along too well, but they were all laughing and chatting away amicably around the table as Rhys stood to calve the turkey. All petty grievances were forgotten as they let the Christmas spirit take over their minds.

“Why here Toshiko?”

“To show you what you are missing today, company, good food, fun.”

“Christmas just makes me wonder if I will stay sane, reminds me of things in the past, of losing people I care about, love ... I miss you Tosh.” 

“I died saving the planet Jack, it was always the way I wanted to go, although if I'm honest I would wish it hadn't been quite to soon. But at least it wasn't death by toaster.” She smiled softly.

Jack smiled back at her, seeing Owen had been hard and now he had Tosh my his side again, albeit as a ghost he knew his emotions were beginning to run a little high. He knew exactly where he wanted to be next, who he wanted to see.

“Can you take me to see Ianto?”

“Yes Jack.” She took his hand, the loud crack was no less shocking than the first time and made Jack's head ring.

Jack held his ears and shook his head, slowly opened his eyes and saw the what he assumed was the whole Jones family sitting around a spacious living room. Ianto's mum and sister and her two small children.

Jack knew Ianto had lost his father a few years earlier, but none of them seemed to be sitting around brooding over anything. In fact the room was filled with laughter as the smallest child attempted to walk with the new toy it had been given to induce such as activity and then landed with a plop on it's nappy cushioned behind.

It sat there a little in shock before Ianto, who was the closest picked it up and held it close as it's bottom lip began to quiver and tears threatened. He watched as Ianto soothed the child before any tears had the chance to fall and a few minutes it was giggling in his arms as he blew raspberries on it's stomach.

“I could have been here, I was invited.” Jack told Toshiko sadly.

“Then why aren't you?”

“Because I'm an idiot.”

“You are, can't you see how much Ianto cares for you? It was obvious even back before I died, you must have hurt him when you declined the invitation.”

“We had a fight, I wouldn't be surprised if he was still pissed off with me when he comes back to work.”

“What the the fight about?”

“I was being grumpy apparently, come to think about it I probably was.”

“And?”

“I wouldn't explain and he got the arse and left in a huff.”

“Don't blame him.”

“I want to go now.” Jack had grown sad again, this time upset with himself over his treatment of his lover.

“You don't want to stay a little longer?”

“No.”

“Okay Jack.”

Another crack later and they were once again in Jack's tiny bedroom, Toshiko kissed him softly on the cheek, told him to listen very carefully to the ghost of Christmas future as it was the most important and that she would never forget him and always love him before she vanished with another loud crack.

The ghost of Christmas future was the last person Jack expected to see, this time he was woken by a cool breeze that seemed to penetrate his bedding. Making himself open his eyes he looked in surprise as he saw Ianto looking down on him, a small smirk playing on his lips.

“Ianto? You're not dead I only saw you a little while ago, oh god, you didn't choke on a peanut did you?”

“No Jack.” He grinned. “In your present I am still alive and well and miffed with you, this is me from the future.”

“Okay, lets get it over with then, I take it you're here to show me what happens to me if I don't change my ways?”

“Yep, lets, as you say, get it over with.”

Ianto grabbed Jack's hand and the room seemed to shimmer around them, slowly vanishing till another one shimmered in, Jack looked about gasping as he realised they were in a church and it was obviously the beginning of a very extravagant wedding.

“A wedding? Who's? Is this way in the future, they've changed the laws and we can marry properly?” Jack asked a little excitedly, not realising just how much he had let slip on the subject of his feelings towards the young man.

“No Jack.” Ianto nodded towards the front pews.

Jack could see himself sitting there, next to Ianto and was obviously the best man and although he was smiling Jack knew it was fake, it was one he had used plenty of times. Ianto was marrying someone else and somehow he was allowing it, but definitely not happy about it. 

He was feeling very confused, he knew he loved Ianto, no matter how much he tried to deny it to himself and there was no way he could think of that would mean he would let them break up. No way he could watch him marry someone else and seem to be okay with it, what the hell had happened?

The congregation stood as the organ began to sound and the bride began to walk slowly down the isle on the arm of an ageing gentleman Jack assumed was her father, she was beautiful there was no denying it.

Her hair shone like burnished copper, her pale skin and green eyes complimented her petite figure. She seemed to glide down the isle, her feet hidden by the perfect dress as she smiled serenely. The only thing to mar the perfect picture was the small baby bump barely visible under the fullness of the skirt.

“Shotgun wedding after a moment of madness?” Jack asked hopefully.

“We met at a New Years Eve party, when I went back to work after that Christmas when we had the fight you still wouldn't tell me what the problem was and we had an even bigger fight. It was stupid really and we are both a stubborn as each other, I dumped you for good.”

“I let you go?” Jack asked sadly.

“Yep, I even hesitated in the tourist office hoping you would come after me but when you didn't appear after about ten minutes I left.”

“So how come I ended up at your wedding as best man?”

“When we had both calmed down to told me you didn't want to lose me from Torchwood as well as your life, I agreed to keep working for you as long as you respected the fact I was now with someone else. You seemed happy to do so, although I knew it was killing you as much as it was me but neither of us would say so and then she told me she was pregnant.”

“I thought you said it wasn't a shotgun wedding?”

“It wasn't, it was all planned down to the last detail and she only told me a month beforehand, if I ever had any thoughts of backing out they were thwarted by the news of the baby.”

“And you asked me to be your best man, there was no one else?”

“You were my best friend Jack despite everything else that had happened.”

They stood quietly watching the couple take their vows, tears rolling slowly down Jack's face at the thought he had been so stubborn that he had lost the first person he has loved in years over a silly argument.

“There must be something better to happen in my life Ianto, please get me out of here.”

Ianto clasped his hand the the world shimmered around them again, this time they appeared in the churchyard. Judging by the light fall of snow and people huddled around a graveside in warm winter wear it was very cold.

“Why are we here, who's funeral is this?”

“Mine.” Ianto told him bluntly.

Jack moved towards the small group, he could see both Gwen and Rhys and neither of them looked much older than they did now. It wasn't until he spotted Ianto's bride with a small child in her arms that he realised this had happened less than a year after he had married.

“How?” Was all Jack managed to utter.

“We had had another fight, or disagreement as we liked to call them and I disobeyed your orders in the field to piss you off. I paid for it with my life, I was careless.”

“We never stopped loving each other did we?”

“Nope, it was just that neither of us would admit it and there was no way I was abandoning my wife and child, although in the end I did unintentionally.”

“I ruined all our lives, over ... being an idiot.”

“It was Christmas Jack, I know now why you wouldn't tell me what was wrong.”

“You do?”

“You didn't want to ruin it for me as well, you wanted me to go home to my family and have a good Christmas. But I'm at fault too Jack, I should have realised that you were brooding over the past and insisted that you joined my family for Christmas day.”

“I wouldn't have gone.”

“I'm sure I could have persuaded you if I had tried harder.” Ianto smirked.

Jack had to give a small smile at the comment, he knew he might have just faltered in his resolve if Ianto had promised the just the right thing at the time.

“What happens to me?” Jack asked, not quite sure he wanted to know.

“Take my hand.” Ianto held it out to him and Jack wrapped his own around it a little hesitantly.

When they came out the shimmer this time they were in the hub, it looked nothing like it did now. There were what Jack assumed were high tech computers that appeared to be hanging in mid air and were only millimetres thick and the people he could see, none of whom he recognised were wearing clothing he had only ever seen something like in his own future.

He could see himself sat in what was still his office, the only thing that didn't seem to be any different. He began to walk through the hub with Ianto at his side, meaning to head up to the office and see what his other self seemed to be staring intently at but he was sidetracked by the conversation going on between the others.

“He's doing it again.” A young blonde woman observed.

“You get used to it after a while, word is it's someone he loved once and lost and he never got over it.” The slightly older brunette woman told her.

“I hear that he used to flirt with anyone and anything, including aliens if you can believe that but after the so called incident he just gave up on love, gave himself completely to the job and gave up on life too. I think if he could die he would have killed himself long ago.” The slightly greying, oldest member of the group added.

“Sounds a bit extreme Mike.” The blonde told him.

“There are diaries you know, kept by a man by the name of Ianto Jones. They are filled with all kinds of technical stuff but along side it are huge paragraphs on his and Jack's ... partnership. He loved him, there is a fight detailed in it, just like the one they were rumoured to have and then he starts writing about a woman he has met and Jack is only ever mentioned as his boss, for a while anyway.” The brunette stated.

“For a while?” The blonde questioned.

“About six months after the falling out Ianto starts writing about how he's not sure he can go through with the wedding having realised that he still loves Jack, then a couple of months after than he writes about his fiancée telling him she pregnant and that he can't abandon them.”

“Oh how sad.” The blonde sighed.

“And he died you know, less than a year after the baby was born. I don't know anymore, I found out the basic details of that in the archives. His body is here, like all former Torchwood employees his grave holds an empty casket.”

“Poor Jack, poor Ianto. It's like something out of Shakespeare, a tragedy.” The blonde looked like she was going to cry when she said the words.

Jack couldn't bare to hear anymore, he rushed towards the steps that led up to the office. Taking Ianto's hand so they could shimmer through the door, as soon as they appeared inside he was at his others self's side. He wasn't as surprised as he thought he would be to see Jack looking intently at his picture on his desk, along with that of his wife and child.

“I can change all this can't I?” Jack looked at Ianto pleadingly.

“Yep, you know what you need to do Jack.”

Before he could reply Ianto had taken his hand and they shimmered back into Jack's room, the last thing Jack remembered happing in the morning when he woke in the morning feeling more than a little rested was Ianto kissing him softly on the lips before shimmering out.

Jack dressed in record time, slinging on his clothes haphazardly and then dashed out the hub. Jumping in the SUV he drove as speed out of the parking garage and in the direction of Ianto's mothers cottage, happy in the knowledge that having been there before he knew where he was going.

Stopping briefly at one of the few petrol stations that was open on Christmas day Jack grabbed boxes of chocolates, bottles of wine and some random toys for the kids before heading off again. He screeched to a halt outside the cottage in record time, grabbed the bags of goodies and ran to the door, knocking loudly.

When Ianto opened the door he wasn't quite sure what to say, Ianto just looked confused to see him.

“Jack?” His tone of voice matched the look on his face.

“I'm sorry.” Jack managed to blurt out eventually.

“Sorry you were an arsehole or sorry we had a fight?”

“Both.” Jack gave him a small grin.

“And you're here now because?”

“It's Christmas and you invited me, I have presents.” He held the bags aloft. “Kind of.”

Ianto let a smile play on his lips as he took some of the bags from Jack and moved to let him through the door.

“What happened Jack?”

“I had a very weird night, I don't know if it was all a dream but this morning I knew I didn't want my life to play out how it had in the ... dream and that I had to come and make it up to you.”

“A dream? Care to elaborate?”

“No, no more melancholy thoughts. It's Christmas and from today I'm going to do my damnedest to try and change the way I act at this time of year, there's no way I'm losing you to a cute redhead.”

“What?”

“Doesn't matter, I'm here and I want to experience Christmas the Jones way.”

“Okay Jack, I accept your apology, but I was as fault too, I should have tried harder to get you here in the first place instead of rising to the bait.”

“I know, you would have promised me something to break my resolve and I would have agreed eventually.”

“How the hell do you know what I told myself last night?”

“Sixth sense.” Jack grinned.

“So, we agree we were both at fault in one way or another?”

“Yeah, how about we just forget it and try and get on with Christmas present and not worry about the past and hope the future is kinder to us?”

“You're talking in riddles Jack?”

“Maybe one day, when you're old and grey I'll tell you about the dream but for now, I need coffee.”

Ianto put the bags he had taken from Jack down and took the rest from Jack and placed them beside them and pulled him into his arms, wrapping them tightly around him and kissed him deeply not caring if anyone saw them for the first time in his life.

“I love you Jack, Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas Ianto, I love you too.”

They didn't move from the spot for a long while, just holding each other as they kissed tenderly till the heard the giggles of the eldest child nearing and pulled apart. Ianto scooped her into his arms and walked with Jack into the living room, knowing his family would make him feel at home.

The End.

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