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missthingsplace) wrote2009-03-11 09:08 pm
P.S I Love You
Title: P.S. I Love You
Author: missthingsplace
Parings/characters: Jack (Ianto)
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or any of the characters ... unfortunately.
Summary: One year after Jack loses Ianto to death by Torchwood he recieves a letter ...
Spoilers: None
Warnings: *Tissues maybe required*
Rating: g
Okay, you can blame the film of the same name for this, it aggitated the angst bunny ...
Jack lay back on the bed and picked up the envelope again, staring at the handwriting on the front. It had been a whole year, to the day since Ianto had left him. Left him in the worst possible way, the way that meant he could never make better, never have him back.
The letter had arrived three days earlier, Jack recognised the handwriting as soon as he picked it up from the floor of the fake tourist office and he just couldn't bring himself to open it. He had taken it home to his flat, their home and placed it on the bedside table wondering if he could ever bring himself to read the contents.
Making a decision he slid his finger under the flap at the back and eased it open, desperate not to tear the envelope before sliding out the contents and then placed it on the bed beside him before rolling onto his front and opening the sheet of paper. Something fluttered from between the fold and fell to the bed, a photo.
Picking it up a small smile crept to his lips, it was a picture his Ianto and himself, lying fast asleep on the battered old sofa in the hub under his coat. It wasn't a image from the CCTV, the clarity of the photo was too perfect and he wondered how, or who had taken it before placing it with the envelope beside him.
Jack turned his attention back to the letter, written in Ianto's neat handwriting and began to read.
Jack,
If you're reading this letter it must be a year since I passed away, I know you're wondering how I could write a letter from the dead but there's nothing supernatural going on. I wrote this when we became more than just 'part time shags', when I knew that one day I would leave you and hurt you in a way I couldn't prevent.
Jack felt a single tear roll down his cheek, he ignored it and kept reading.
I gave this to Rhys, Gwen had no idea so don't have a go at her for keeping it a secret. He promised to keep it safe and in the event of my death to post it to you so that you got it three days early. I was right wasn't I? It's the anniversary of my death and you've only just opened it?
“Yeah.” Jack said softly to himself.
The photograph was taken by Toshiko, she gave it to me a very long time ago. She never did actually tell me when she took it, or how we never caught her but I guess we must have been exhausted. This is one of my favourite pictures of us.
I should really get to the point now shouldn't I? People think you're incapable of monogamy and loving one person completely but I know different, even when the rest of the team knew we were together it was obvious they thought I was kidding myself but I didn't care, I had you and they had no idea how wonderful that was.
And I also know that despite what they might think you haven't let yourself fall for anyone else since I died, would I be right in thinking there hasn't even been any dates, or casual encounters either?
Jack nodded silently at how much better Ianto knew him than he ever thought possible.
As much as I'd love to think I was the love of your life and that there would be no one else to fill my shoes I know that's not practical. You have a long life ahead of you Jack and so much love to give, I want you to find someone else.
“You were the love of my life.” Jack murmured sadly, picking up the photo and looking at it again before reading on.
I'm not saying go out and shag the first person you see, mourning is a personal thing but you can't keep it up forever. It's not healthy for one thing, or practical for another but it's time to start moving on. On the same note, I bet you're still living in our flat, all my things still around you?
Jack smiled himself at the thought of Ianto's suits still in the wardrobe, the t shirt he kept under the pillow he swore still held his unique scent and the tie draped at the end of the bed where it was left all that time ago.
Pack them away Jack, you don't have to get rid of them just yet if you don't want to but you need to clear the slate a little, I won't tell you to move because I have a feeling that's too much to ask at the moment but think about it, okay?
Tears were running freely down Jack's face now, dripping onto the letter and the ink running a little at the bottom.
I may be dead Jack but you deserve to live, not just exist. Don't try and tell me you are because I won't believe you, go on, you can do it if you put your mind to it.
Ianto
P.S. I LOVE YOU
“I love you too Ianto.” Jack whispered to the room before burying his head in his arms and sobbing, knowing that Ianto was right in every aspect of the letter. Tonight he would wallow in his grief for the last time, tomorrow he would try and do as he was told.
He would try.
Probably.
Maybe.
The End.
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