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missthingsplace) wrote2009-05-31 08:30 pm
New Horizons 13/?
Title: New Horizons
Author: missthingsplace
Parings/characters: Jack (Jack/Ianto Rhys/Gwen) OC's: Dafydd, Angela, Christopher, Charlie
Disclaimer: I don't own Torchwood or any of the characters ... unfortunately, just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: After losing Ianto and Gwen in the same attack Jack accepts a request by the queen in Washington DC
Spoilers: None
Warnings: Angst, slash ... the usual.
Rating: NC17 for series. This chapter PG
Previous Chapters: http://missthingsplace.livejournal.com/2
As soon as Jack got back to his flat that evening he dragged the suitcase back out and grabbed the diary, leaving it in the middle of the floor Jack kicked his boots of and lay on the bed and found what the entry he was looking for.
The Doctor turned up yesterday to refuel the TARDIS, I can't believe I used to be so jealous of him, that he would steal Jack away from me.
Even in his latest incarnation, he looks so impossibly young for someone in his nine hundreds, although Jack flirts with him it's obvious he had no intentions in that way for Jack.
I knew the day we married that all my fears were groundless, he was mine and mine alone and I was happy to see him like Jack.
He was travelling alone but he had had another assistant since he'd lost Donna, Jack told me all about Donna, she seemed like a great woman and I wish I had got to meet her.
I was desperate to get the Doctor to myself, I wanted to ask him the question that Jack would try and put off for as long as possible.
Making the excuse about wanting him to have a look at something in the archives I had discovered and had no idea what it was he followed me happy to help, searching around I found something I knew he would know exactly, hell I knew what it was and his face lit up as he explained it to me.
He wasn't too happy when I brought up the subject of Jack and I having children, oh he was okay at first when he thought we were going to adopt but when I made it a little more obvious what I meant he refused point blank.
The Doctor puts up an good argument, I'll give him that and I never thought I'd wear him down so I was more than a little amazed when he finally asked what kind of birth control Jack had.
That amused me, Jack had never referred to it as birth control. I told him that all I knew was it was some kind of chemical inhibitor and he seemed to know exactly what it would be, based on where and when Jack was from.
Jack gulped. “What have you done?” Jack whispered into the empty room.
The Doctor vanished and reappeared such a long time later, or so it seemed, I thought he had just left without saying goodbye. He handed me a box, it had one word on the front in some alien language that I couldn't read but the Doctor assured me it would reverse the effects of the inhibitor.
The whole course lasted a month but he gave me three months supply in case Jack died and reverted back to the beginning, telling me if it didn't work, or if it ran out due to Jack's body resetting too may times then it wasn't meant to be and he wouldn't give us any more.
I asked him not to mention it to Jack, that I needed to talk to him first so we could decide together that the time was right, something else he wasn't happy about but he agreed in the end when I promised we would contact him if and when Jack did fall pregnant.
“You didn't please tell me you didn't.” Jack hissed to himself as he moved through the pages of the diary again finally stopping at an entry about six months after their fourth wedding anniversary.
I started putting the pills in Jack's coffee a couple of days ago, I don't know what compelled me, maybe it was seeing my sister so happy that she was pregnant last week. Okay, I admit it, I was jealous. I should stop, stop and tell Jack, but what if he's angry with me and refuses completely?
Shit, what do I do?
Frowning at the short entry Jack scanned through until he found another about it a couple of days later.
I haven't stopped, I feel so guilty, how would I feel if Jack got pregnant without asking me first? If I didn't want a baby then bloody angry I should imagine.
It might not even work, maybe he won't fall pregnant and I won't have to explain myself. I'll tell him, I can't keep deceiving him like this, I feel so bad.
Tears were pouring down Jack's face as he kept reading the following, intermittent entries.
Three weeks now, three weeks since I started putting the pills in Jack's coffee and I still haven't worked up the nerve to tell him. The longer I leave it the harder it seems to be to admit to what I've done, he's going to be upset with me at the very least and I don't blame him.
But I also can't bring myself to stop giving him the pills, amazingly he hasn't even died since I started giving him them, how ironic is that?
“Very.” Jack growled to himself sadly.
Jack got to an entry about three months before Ianto had died, four months ago.
I might be imaging it but I think Jack might be pregnant, he's having mood swings and, oh I don't know there just seems to be something a little different about him. The strange food cravings for fruit and salad might have something to do with it, but that seems to be going again now.
Oh hell, what the fuck do I do now, just say to him. 'Hey Jack, here's a pregnancy test, maybe miracles happen'
SHIT SHIT SHIT
He's going to kill me, we agreed to decide together when to have kids, I am an idiot, a soon to be single idiot.
FUCK.
“Fuck indeed.” Jack muttered, getting off the bed and flinging the journal into the suitcase.
Jack marched into the bathroom, turned on the shower and stripped. Standing under the cascading water he put his hand on his belly, there was no doubt it was slightly swollen but whether it was caused by Ianto's actions or too may doughnuts he had no idea.
Sliding down the cool ties Jack sat in the bottom of the shower, his hand rubbing in small circles over his belly. He was completely stunned, what the hell was he going to do he asked himself.
Should be keep it? After all it was Ianto's part of his lover, his husband and something he had wished for. But on the other hand it would complicate things so much, if he was already beginning to show he would have to head back to Cardiff sooner rather than later before it became more obvious.
Could be abort Ianto's baby he asked himself as he got to his feet feeling confused and upset, turning the water off Jack grabbed a towel and wrapped it around himself and walked into the living room and curled up on the sofa hugging a cushion to himself as he sobbed uncontrollably.
Jack woke some hours later having cried himself to sleep, his hand reaching down to his stomach before he was even fully awake wondering if it had all been a dream but no, the small bump was still there.
“But I died, when Ianto and Gwen died, if I was pregnant I can't still be can I?” Jack asked the bump, rubbing the palm of his hand over the it. “I can't be ... but what if I am?”
Sitting himself back up Jack opened the laptop on the coffee table and opened Rhiannon's email, his fingers hovering over the reply button again as he decided whether telling her was a good idea, making his decision he pressed it, he needed to talk to someone and she was one of the few people he could tell.
Rhiannon,
I ... oh hell, where do I start.
Jack began, just typing everything that came into his head.
Okay, first of all it seems that your brother was a lot more sneaky than I gave him credit for and considering what happened with Lisa, well, that's some kind of achievement.
If he was still alive I'd kill him ... no actually I'd think about it but I'd get over it and be happy he was still there.
Oh shit.
Right, here it is, the thing is, well you know you said you wish we'd given you a niece or nephew? Well I think I might be pregnant.
I hope you were sitting down when you read that because I was lying down when I read something in Ianto's journal that lead me to believe I could be and I think I would have fallen over if I hadn't been.
Maybe it's just wishful thinking ...
What the hell do I do? If I am that is, I mean I haven't even had it confirmed yet.
And how the hell do I do that? I can't just go to a doctor and I don't want my new team knowing yet in case it's a false alarm, do you think a normal test will work for me? A woman's pregnancy test that is?
I'm so confused. Heh, you might have worked that out yourself by now.
Maybe I should have an abortion? Surely that would be best all round? I mean, how am I going to keep it a secret, take care of it? If I go back to Cardiff I'm going back to Torchwood Three, UNIT looking after it is only a temporary arrangement and I have no team, fuck, I have no team.
What the hell do I do Rhi?
I miss him so much it hurts, is it really only a month? It feels like so much longer, your brother was everything to me and I feel so lost without him.
Do you know what's worse? Your cousin Dafydd is one of my team here, he looks nothing like Ianto but he has his eyes, I look into them and see Ianto every day.
I wish I could just curl up and die, sometimes I wonder if when you die for good do you get to be with your lost ones again? I want to die and stay dead and find out, I'll always hate that he died and I got to live.
Jack.
Tears were pouring down Jack's face as he sent the send button, as soon as it went he felt guilty for telling her he wish he was dead in the same email as telling her he might be carrying Ianto's baby.
Jack hit the reply button again.
Rhi, I'm sorry, I should never have said I wish I was dead, please help me.
Jack.
Jack made his way back to the bathroom and grabbed wads of tissue, wiping his eyes and blowing his nose before splashing his face with cold water.
Looking in the mirror above the sink Jack stared at his face, his eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot.
“Oh hell.” He told himself before reaching for the door of the kitchen cabinet and taking out the packet of sleeping pills he had been prescribed after Ianto's death.
Turning the packet over he read the instructions, confirming that they were safe to take during pregnancy Jack swallowed one, took the towel from his body and hung it up before going to his bedroom and sliding between the covers, leaving the suitcase and book were they were on the floor and closed his eyes.
He had barely been asleep for two hours when the phone rang, Jack fumbled for it in a haze.
“Hello?” He mumbled.
“Jack, it's Dafydd, looks like three weevils are causing havoc in Tyson's Corner Centre.”
“ Can you pick me up?” Jack asked, getting out of bed and feeling as groggy as hell.
“Ten minutes.” Dafydd told him, cutting the call.
Jack showered again for the second time that night to help wake himself up and threw his clothes on just in time as the doorbell rang.
“You look like hell.” Dafydd told him as he opened the door.
“Took a pill to sleep, not quite awake yet. Jack told him as way of an explanation.
“Right, okay we need to go.” Dafydd replied.
Jack followed thinking he was right about Dafydd, he was a natural leader.
TBC
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Thank you :D
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Thank you :D
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Poor confused Jack....what a lot to take in at once....
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Thank you :D
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Nicole
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wonderful update, loved the diary and the e-mail!
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(hugs Jack)
You think Rhi would come visit him? I can't wait for the next part.
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Thank you :D
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Fabulous update as always!*hugs*
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Thank you :D
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You're definitely keeping my mind rolling with this fic ;D
PS: I've updated my drabbles while you were in London :3
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Yep, it's in my list of things to read, I'm slowly catching up!
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lol, don't rush^^ there is no hurry :3
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I shall be reading it later :)
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Thank you :D
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Thank you :D
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No!!! for even considering an abortion
And double NOOOO!!!! for Jack going to deal with 3 weevils when he's still doped up and not fully aware!
You're giving me heart palpatations here. I love it! Brilliant chapter, and I loved the way you've thrown doubt on the pregnancy issue.
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Thank you :D
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Thank you :D
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Thank you :D
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be careful Jack (okay now I know I'm off the planet..I'm talking to a fictional character)
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(i do that too!)
Thank you :D
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More soon ...
Thsnk you :D
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More soon.
Thank you :D
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Thank you :D
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I can't wait to see what happens to Jack next!
Great job!!!
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more soon!
Thank you :d
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Thank you :D
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Thank you :D
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Thank you :D