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missthingsplaceFirst i want to thank everyone for their lovely comments and support, it is most appriciated.
So, things aren't going brilliantly for my son. He did actually get to see his son last Sunday, which was good but things went rapidly down hill on wednesday. His ex still had a key to the flat - something i felt was wrong and had said so - and she turned up unannounced at the flat wednesday evening to collect more of her stuff and found him there with a woman. They were only sat, my son says on seperate chairs watching TV and drinking coffee. He maintains that she is just a friend and like all his other friends he's not been able to socialise with her until now - we know for a fact that this is true, she wouldn't even let him see his best mate from school, he had to see him by making an excuse that he was visiting us - and i do tend to believe him, judging by the state he's in over her leaving.
Anyways, this ended up with them having a huge arguement in which she told him that basically he couldn't have a girlfriend without her approval just in case the woman in question was a potential step mum ... she then phoned hubby and ranted at him over this and tried to get him on her side so he asked her if when she meets someone else wouldn't that mean that my son could vet him as a potential step dad? She went quiet and then put the phone down on him. Later she called back with the opening line 'i know that you knew he was having an affair!' ... Uuum ... nope and as far as we know he wasn't. She seems to be trying to drive a wedge inbetween us and our son now. Not going to happen, he is remaining calm as we have advised, not matter how she behaves.
She let herself into the flat again on thursday while he was at work and has taken the tumble dryer, hoover, tv and the living room curtains! None of which she needs, she's living at her parents. So, on friday we went to his flat and changed the lock, bought him a new tv and curtains. It was then we discovered she had taken the hoover too and told him if we could get our spare one working he could have it, he came back with us and my in-laws gave him a spare hoover they had so that solved that.
He refused to phone her to tell her he'd changed the locks as he didn't want to speak to her after wednesday so he emailed and texted her. She called him and they are on speaking terms again. Hopefully he will get to see his son again soon. He has also put money into her account for their son. When hubby suggested that we collect our grandson and spend some time with him at our sons flat she refused - noone likes her mother and we have no desire to see our grandson at her house - she refused saying that he couldn't go anywhere without her as he needs her milk - he's nearly two - and that he's going off it now and she needs to get him back onto it!!! Umm, this suggests to me that he doesn't really want or need it!
The things that upsets me most is not knowing when we will get to see our grandson again, and his sister when she is born. My father-in-law sugested yesterday that if it comes to it and we don't get to see him it's like them and my brother-in-laws kids cos they live so far away they barely see them ...i think not, they do visit and they send photo's and phone etc, not the same thing at all. My brother lives even further away but my parents still get to see my niece and nephew and they do the same thing, photo's and phone calls. That comment didn't help at all.
She has always been very posessive of our grandson, if my son tried to take him when he was a baby she'd snatch him back moments later, she was constantly breast feeding him and my hubby had to literally take him from her so we could have a hold as she would never offer. She refused to express milk so my son could help with feeding - claimed that he wouldn't feed from her if he had a bottle, which is rubbish, i know of many babys that had both, babys just want to be fed, thay don't care where it comes from - and now she using all this to say he wasn't interested when he was a baby ... even we could see he didn't get a look in and we only saw them once every two weeks for a couple of hours.
I am worried about the new baby arriving, our grandson is very much a mummys boy, always clinging to her, she carries him everywhere even though he's nearly two and has always shared their bed and then there's the breast feeding ... i fear he's going to become a rather jealous little boy when his sister arrives to share him mums affections ... on well ... she's made her bed!
My head isn't quite in such a state now and i'm hoping that tomorrow i might get some writing done - the bunnies were rampant today but i am too tired to write - so keep your fingers crossed. ickle is back at uni tomorrow too so i should have a good few hours peace and quiet.
I shall stop waffling now ...thank you all for your patience,
Di x
So, things aren't going brilliantly for my son. He did actually get to see his son last Sunday, which was good but things went rapidly down hill on wednesday. His ex still had a key to the flat - something i felt was wrong and had said so - and she turned up unannounced at the flat wednesday evening to collect more of her stuff and found him there with a woman. They were only sat, my son says on seperate chairs watching TV and drinking coffee. He maintains that she is just a friend and like all his other friends he's not been able to socialise with her until now - we know for a fact that this is true, she wouldn't even let him see his best mate from school, he had to see him by making an excuse that he was visiting us - and i do tend to believe him, judging by the state he's in over her leaving.
Anyways, this ended up with them having a huge arguement in which she told him that basically he couldn't have a girlfriend without her approval just in case the woman in question was a potential step mum ... she then phoned hubby and ranted at him over this and tried to get him on her side so he asked her if when she meets someone else wouldn't that mean that my son could vet him as a potential step dad? She went quiet and then put the phone down on him. Later she called back with the opening line 'i know that you knew he was having an affair!' ... Uuum ... nope and as far as we know he wasn't. She seems to be trying to drive a wedge inbetween us and our son now. Not going to happen, he is remaining calm as we have advised, not matter how she behaves.
She let herself into the flat again on thursday while he was at work and has taken the tumble dryer, hoover, tv and the living room curtains! None of which she needs, she's living at her parents. So, on friday we went to his flat and changed the lock, bought him a new tv and curtains. It was then we discovered she had taken the hoover too and told him if we could get our spare one working he could have it, he came back with us and my in-laws gave him a spare hoover they had so that solved that.
He refused to phone her to tell her he'd changed the locks as he didn't want to speak to her after wednesday so he emailed and texted her. She called him and they are on speaking terms again. Hopefully he will get to see his son again soon. He has also put money into her account for their son. When hubby suggested that we collect our grandson and spend some time with him at our sons flat she refused - noone likes her mother and we have no desire to see our grandson at her house - she refused saying that he couldn't go anywhere without her as he needs her milk - he's nearly two - and that he's going off it now and she needs to get him back onto it!!! Umm, this suggests to me that he doesn't really want or need it!
The things that upsets me most is not knowing when we will get to see our grandson again, and his sister when she is born. My father-in-law sugested yesterday that if it comes to it and we don't get to see him it's like them and my brother-in-laws kids cos they live so far away they barely see them ...i think not, they do visit and they send photo's and phone etc, not the same thing at all. My brother lives even further away but my parents still get to see my niece and nephew and they do the same thing, photo's and phone calls. That comment didn't help at all.
She has always been very posessive of our grandson, if my son tried to take him when he was a baby she'd snatch him back moments later, she was constantly breast feeding him and my hubby had to literally take him from her so we could have a hold as she would never offer. She refused to express milk so my son could help with feeding - claimed that he wouldn't feed from her if he had a bottle, which is rubbish, i know of many babys that had both, babys just want to be fed, thay don't care where it comes from - and now she using all this to say he wasn't interested when he was a baby ... even we could see he didn't get a look in and we only saw them once every two weeks for a couple of hours.
I am worried about the new baby arriving, our grandson is very much a mummys boy, always clinging to her, she carries him everywhere even though he's nearly two and has always shared their bed and then there's the breast feeding ... i fear he's going to become a rather jealous little boy when his sister arrives to share him mums affections ... on well ... she's made her bed!
My head isn't quite in such a state now and i'm hoping that tomorrow i might get some writing done - the bunnies were rampant today but i am too tired to write - so keep your fingers crossed. ickle is back at uni tomorrow too so i should have a good few hours peace and quiet.
I shall stop waffling now ...thank you all for your patience,
Di x
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Date: 2011-09-25 10:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-25 10:04 pm (UTC)It's bad when your kids are hurting....
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Date: 2011-09-25 10:50 pm (UTC)I hope it works out! It's not right the way she's acting, not at all.
*hugs*
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Date: 2011-09-25 10:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-26 12:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-26 02:18 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-26 05:28 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-26 06:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-26 07:20 am (UTC)*HUGS YOU HARD*
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Date: 2011-09-26 09:03 am (UTC)keep strong and keep going,, take care of yourself
no subject
Date: 2011-09-26 04:27 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-26 05:06 pm (UTC)I hope things become easier for you soon. If you need a chat, I'll lend you an ear :)
*hugs*
no subject
Date: 2011-09-26 05:58 pm (UTC)*hugs*
K
xx
no subject
Date: 2011-09-26 06:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-26 08:32 pm (UTC)